O.K. O.K. I love love love my 17 almost 18 year old daughter more than life itself, but I have to tell you she drives me up a flippin' wall. Her and I fight like no other, either we get along beautifully or we are fighting I mean cat fighting!Not physically just screaming saying things we don't mean (ok maybe we do lol). She drives me insane with her attitude. She just does not give a rats ass I swear. She tells me like it is, I would never have dreamed of talking to my mother that way and I still don't and why??? Because she'd still kick my you know what to this day if I did. I believe kids today think they are owed so much, like just because they exist we owe them everything such as gas money, or car insurance, heck even the car!!! My parents did not hand me anything like kids are handed today and whose fault is that??? Ya ya I know.
My daughter Monica is a beautiful blonde and when she was little had the brightest bluest eyes that twinkled when she smiled. She was stuck to my side and I had to pry her off my leg and I am not kidding when I say I had to actually pry her off me. She was my side kick, my best friend. I never dreamed she would turn 13 and become some monster child I did not recognize. On her good days she is funny, smart, outgoing, poetic, charming, laughs all the time, silly and kind. On her bad she is miserable., onery, mean, dramatic and loves to start trouble! I'd love to see what she'd write about me ha ha!!! I just don't have a clue as to what goes on in her brain! I DO NOT remember being so like that when I was a teenager...I really don't. I don't know if its hormonal, depression, stress ohh hell please do not tell me that is her personality and it is here to stay uuuggghhhh!!!! We will kill each other.
But behind my moaning and complaining. I really am deeply hurt by her. I love her dearly. I don't understand what I need to do as a mother, a friend, a confidante to make her feel better. So instead of saying loving words we hurt ach other with the things we say. What I really want to say is "Monica I love you!" I want your beautiful smiling, twinkling, blue eyes back. I miss your tentacles attatched to my legs, I miss your head on my pillow next to me when you were a little tiny girl, I miss being your hero the mom you loved your friends to meet, I miss when we would laugh at those dumb commercials and you would make fun of me when I cried at the sad ones, or when we sang to our CD's at the top of our lungs and pretended we were on American Idol.
I hope she knows I am appreciative of all the things she has done for me, even though she thinks I do not feel that way. I do. I plan on being there for her forever. When she truely needs me someday I will be there. Right now I guess she is trying like heck to gain independance and get as far away from me as possible. For a teenager thats wild, crazy and exciting, for a mother it is heartbreaking and scary. Although we would never want them to know that. I do not want her to turn out like me. I want her to taste a little bit of everything in life. To enjoy every minute and love it.
I look forward to our life together our joys and pains. Her 1st child as all mothers I wished it to be 10 times worse than her lol. I want us to have holidays together and travel and for her to be there when I am old stroking my hair and helping me to say goodbye. Most of all I want her to know that I love her and I am proud of her and thankful that she is my daughter. I know she has the strength and the brains to make it through this life. And to thank her for making me wiser to all the little tricks teenagers pull cause I'll be waiting for her baby sister to be 13.........
My daughter Monica is a beautiful blonde and when she was little had the brightest bluest eyes that twinkled when she smiled. She was stuck to my side and I had to pry her off my leg and I am not kidding when I say I had to actually pry her off me. She was my side kick, my best friend. I never dreamed she would turn 13 and become some monster child I did not recognize. On her good days she is funny, smart, outgoing, poetic, charming, laughs all the time, silly and kind. On her bad she is miserable., onery, mean, dramatic and loves to start trouble! I'd love to see what she'd write about me ha ha!!! I just don't have a clue as to what goes on in her brain! I DO NOT remember being so like that when I was a teenager...I really don't. I don't know if its hormonal, depression, stress ohh hell please do not tell me that is her personality and it is here to stay uuuggghhhh!!!! We will kill each other.
But behind my moaning and complaining. I really am deeply hurt by her. I love her dearly. I don't understand what I need to do as a mother, a friend, a confidante to make her feel better. So instead of saying loving words we hurt ach other with the things we say. What I really want to say is "Monica I love you!" I want your beautiful smiling, twinkling, blue eyes back. I miss your tentacles attatched to my legs, I miss your head on my pillow next to me when you were a little tiny girl, I miss being your hero the mom you loved your friends to meet, I miss when we would laugh at those dumb commercials and you would make fun of me when I cried at the sad ones, or when we sang to our CD's at the top of our lungs and pretended we were on American Idol.
I hope she knows I am appreciative of all the things she has done for me, even though she thinks I do not feel that way. I do. I plan on being there for her forever. When she truely needs me someday I will be there. Right now I guess she is trying like heck to gain independance and get as far away from me as possible. For a teenager thats wild, crazy and exciting, for a mother it is heartbreaking and scary. Although we would never want them to know that. I do not want her to turn out like me. I want her to taste a little bit of everything in life. To enjoy every minute and love it.
